Busy day

So it has been a busy day in the Hamilton household. James is still fighting off his cold. And now the baby has caught it as well. Mommy is going to go to the store and get some early defense medicine so I don't get it too. Poor little man, it is the first time that he has ever been sick. I hate having to suck the snot out of his nose with the little bulb. He hates it and he screams and cries and makes us feel like dirt. I am doing my best to make him feel better. This is one of those hard Mommy moments. I just want to hold him and make his cold go away. My poor little baby is still teething too. I am praying that his cold goes away and doesn't get any worse. So I am cleaning the house and trying to disinfect everything so that the germs will go away. And then this afternoon our neighbor's daughter came by to get directions for a friend and locked herself out of the house. So she and I broke in through the window. What a pain in the rear end! Those panes are hard to get out. Not to mention she didn't know how to get the panes out so she broke the bottom one. I hope that her mom doesn't freak out. I showed her how to fix the door so that it won't lock her out again. The good news is that now I know how hard it is to get those panes out. Someone would have to be very desperate to try and break in that way. It makes me feel a little bit safer. Well, I need to try and get some sleep. Matty has been waking up in the middle of the night. On top of that, our neighbors have been celebrating the newest ship coming home. It has been loud around here. Well, good night all.

A mother's prayer

Small Blessings

Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day
With little time to stop and pray
For life's been anything but calm
Since You called on me to be a mom
Running errands, matching socks
Building dreams with building blocks
Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes
And other stuff that children lose
Gitting lids on bottled bugs
Wiping tears and giving hugs
A stack of last week's mail to read
So where's the quiet time I need?
Yet when I steal a minute, Lord
Just at the sink or ironing board
To ask the blessings of Your grace
I seen then, in my small one's face
That you have blessed me
All the while
And I stop to kiss
That precious smile

Sick days

I am kind of disappointed this morning. I was going to take Matty to a play group, but I am not feeling so well and James came home from work sick. There is always next week. It is an Army sponsored class so hopefully we can meet some new friends. We went to a BBQ this weekend and met some of our new neighbors. Everyone is very nice so far. And James has a friend from the hospital that we have hung out with a few times. He is crazy about our son. Everyone who meets Matty thinks that he is a dollbaby. Probably because he is! I have a million things to get done around the house still so I guess that it is good that I am stuck at home. I really want to get my home all set up so it will be easier to take care of. Just cutting through all of the chores that have piled up is overwhelming. I'll make it though. I have been using the Queen of Clean tips. She gives you great ideas that work and are CHEAP! We have to work within our budget since I am not working. I am hoping to find out about getting set up for school. I have decided on majoring in English since I can do so many things with that. I am hoping that I will be able to do it online since I don't like the idea of putting Matty in any kind of daycare. Once I get the cluttered cleaned up around the house, I am going to try and start writing again. I am slowly learning the balance between being a mom and having a life. I love my life though. I am a quiet homebody. I like hanging out with friends, but I am not a party girl. I love my family and my home. I like a low key life. Well, I am going to go finish some more laundry and play with my son.

Life goes on

I have been thinking a lot about how much things change in such a relatively short amount of time. James and I looked at pictures of our son from 6 months ago and compared them to now. Matty has grown so much! It is bittersweet. It is necessary to keep moving forward, but every now and then it is okay to look back and see what has happened to bring you to where you are now. It is a road full of happy memories mixed with terrible heartaches and many bumps along the way. I have been on this earth for a quarter of a century. I have lost many people that I have loved whether they have passed away or we have just lost touch over the years. Everything in life comes full circle at some point. We are now the parents watching our children grow when we once were the children growing. We are now the ones who worry and hold onto the precious moments. I love how college applications ask you what your greatest accomplishment has been. When you are just leaving high school, you haven't had any great accomplishments yet. In my life thus far, my greatest accomplishments have been my marriage and my son. I still try to keep in touch with the people in my life who matter most. I love my family. I don't just mean my parents and brother. I mean MY FAMILY. Everyone from my in-laws to my cousins and everyone in between. When we first came to Hawaii, I thought that it would be so great. And it is a beautiful place full of new experiences. But what I failed to see before we came here was how far away we would be from our loved ones. I barely knew my grandparents when I was growing up. I lost one grandfather before I was even born. And by the time I was eight, I had lost all but one of my grandparents. I want my son to know his grandparents. I want him to have memories with them. I want him to know his cousins. My family is very close. Growing up, I had no sisters. But I have always considered my cousins Heather and Nicole as surrogate sisters. Our grandmothers were sisters and I have always felt very connected to them. I miss them so much. When I was 19, I spent the summer with Heather and her beautiful family to help out with the boys. I should have followed my heart and stayed there, but then I never would have met my husband. I watched her and Donnie and the boys and I knew that was what I wanted for myself as well. Even through all of the heartache that they have suffered, they still find the joy in life. Their faith and love are so strong. The older I have become, the more I appreciate that. My husband is my best friend. Our son is the product of a very deep love. I am so blessed that God brought my husband into my life. I had been told for so many years that I could never have children. And then came my miracle, my blessing from God, my beautiful baby boy. I prayed so long and so hard for my child. He is so precious to me. And I honestly believe that I may have never had a child had I never met James. Maybe I am a bit of a romantic, but I believe that God created one person for everyone. Sometimes we are never meant to find them, but they are out there. Thankfully I found my soulmate. I just have a hard time sometimes because I get so afraid that it will all be so violently ripped away from me. I am learning to let go and give it to God, but somedays that is quite a difficult thing to do. Jacob was not my son, but I love him and his brothers as if they were. And seeing such a horrible tragedy happen to such a good and loving family like Heather's scares me to my core. If something like that can happen to such good people, what can happen to my family. I have noticed that I am afraid for my child more than I ever thought possible. I try to push these thoughts away, but some days they just creep up on me and won't leave. I am getting stronger about pushing them away and relying on God. It is a huge thing to be responsible for the well-being of someone so small and needy. But I would never change it for the world. I love being a mother. I love every minute that I spend with my son. Sometimes my heart feels so big that it may burst. Sometimes I find myself wanting to hold my son or husband when they are sleeping and I am tempted to wake them up. I have no idea why I am rambling on about all of this. It just feels good to get it all out. But my son needs to eat so I am just going to stop now.

Childhood Cancer Awareness

I am reposting this from my cousin Heather's blog. Anyone who feels led to help should try these ideas. I have already written to Oprah and will try again soon. I hope that you all have a blessed day!

How To Help

Hello friends,



Since this is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month - we have to work together to do all we can to raise awareness. As a parent of a child with cancer - we are the voice for our children. Our children are too young to express the need for more funding - so we have to do it for them!

Many of you have asked what you can do to help . . . and we can ALL do something. Here are some ideas for those of you who are passionate about getting involved . . .

1. Write to your congressman and support the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act. The budget for Childhood Cancer Research has been cut by the government and we need to let our government officials know that this is not acceptable!

2. Write to Oprah, The View, Morning Shows or your local news and newspapers and let them know that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month and encourage them to do a show to help us raise awareness. If they get enough e-mails - they are bound to listen!

3. Encourage your schools & churches to participate by having a coin drive to benefit pediatric cancer research.

4. Support the Pediatric Cancer Foundation! Most people and companies budget each year to give to charities . . . why not make PCF your benefitting charity this year?? This organization is truly making a difference in the fight against childhood cancer - but they need your help. If you can't afford to give - then save your change for 6 months - it adds up!

5. Visit your local pediatric oncology hospital. Take some books or treats to the kids and let them know you are praying for them. Once you meet these brave, innocent children - you will want to do all you can to save each one. Every life is precious!

Life in Hawaii so far

This place should come with a disclaimer. It should read: Hawaii, a beautiful place to visit, a pain in the ass place to live. It has been one thing after the other since we got here. I have a headache that won't go away. It is just a bunch of stupid little things and very lazy people that combine to make one big mess. It is just too much of a pain to even get into. Matty is doing great. He says "ma ma ma ma ma" to everything now. He has great conversations with his dragon and his feet. My son is so adorable. He ate his first baby food the other day. He loved it of course. He is very amused by blowing raspberries, burping, and gasping very loudly. Matty loves the color red and will follow anything red with his eyes wherever it goes. We watched Cars the other day and he was so cute! He was squealing and laughing and going "brvoom". No joke. It was the cutest thing. He is definitely his Poppie's grandson. James has started his night shifts in the ICU. He seems to like it, but it is hard work and he gets very tired. He tries so hard to spend time with us. I hope that he is getting enough sleep. As for me, I dread opening the boxes and find yet another thing that the movers screwed up. And now the doctor is telling me that my thyroid levels are the worst he has ever seen. Not that I haven't heard this before. But it does explain why I have been so utterly exhausted. Well, James has the next three days off so hopefully we can get some things done around here. I need to get these boxes unpacked. I will post pictures of the house once we get it all put together. Hopefully, I can get at least a couple of the rooms painted in the next few days. We'll see. Well, I think that I am going to pass out now. Good night.

Matty's First Baby Food- BANANAS!!!

Childhood Cancer Awareness