Life's seasons

Today I read Heather's blog about life's seasons. It got me thinking about the different seasons of my life. I haven't been around as long as some, yet I have been around longer than others. First, there was the season of CHILDHOOD. I loved that time! Nothing to worry about but the weather or your friends not being able to play. What a great time in life. Of course it doesn't last and it gives way to the season of ADOLESENCE. What a horrible time that was!!! I hear people say that they would love to go back and be in high school again. Not me, not in a million years! But I did learn a lot during that time. I made some mistakes in life and love that helped me to grow and become stronger. From there came the season of COLLEGE. I had a good time then. I met some amazing people and had some interesting experiences. For the first time, I had a taste of freedom and independence. I had a few boyfriends and really discovered for the first time that I could be considered very attractive. I went a little overboard after I realized that, but I got over it. College didn't last long for me. The summer after I helped Heather with the boys, I dropped out of school. I should have never done that, but at the time I thought that it would be the best thing. I thought that I could work and earn enough money to move up to Virginia with the guy I was dating at the time. That didn't happen and I moved into the season of INDEPENDANCE. This was me getting my first real full time job and trying to earn money to support myself. During this time I left home and moved in with a guy I was dating. I learned so much about how to run a household and pay bills. I learned so much about responisbility. I no longer had my parents to always fall back on. It was an extremely trying experience that ultimately helped me become who I am now. It helped me to realize that I really could stand on my own and make it in the world. And it was during this time that I met my husband. And so came the season of MILITARY WIFE. Wow, was I completely unprepared for this one!!! Without a doubt, it has been the hardest part of my life thus far. To someone outside of this life, it is extremely difficult to explain the pain that comes with sending the person you love most in this world off to war. For an entire year, I barely slept, had constant nightmares, was attached to my cell phone 24/7, and was glued to the computer whenever I got the chance. It was during this time that I learned to stop watching the news. I lived with a constant ache in my heart and an intense fear in my soul. I really felt my faith get tested during this time. It helped me to become closer to God. Maybe I didn't attend church every Sunday, but that is not what it is all about. I had many long talks with God and still do. I know that He protected my husband and brought him home to me safely. There were a few times that were to close to even think about now. I thank God constantly for bringing James home to me. And it was also during this time that I came into the season of MOTHERHOOD. After being told for years that I would not have children from various medical issues, I got pregnant with our beautiful son Matthew. I cannot express in words what a joy that sweet baby boy is to us. I thank God for him everyday. Sometimes Matty drives me nuts, but I have never been happier or prouder than I am now. My whole life, all I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. And now I am. More than anything else, this is what I wanted. And it is what I am best at. So whatever life may bring my way now, I know that this is where I belong and I am very blessed to be here.

Things are getting back to normal...

but we have also had some ups and downs the past week and a half. It was sad to say good bye to our friend David last week. He headed home to Texas to join his wife Aideen. They are expecting their first child in late September. We are hoping to get a chance to go out and visit around then, but you never know if it will be possible. We are praying that it will be. It would also give us a chance to visit family and friends whom we haven't seen in quite some time. Saturday was a bad day for me. Actually, every day up until today has been painful because of it. I had a dentist's appointment to fill a very bad cavitity. Since it was so awful, my gums are swollen and inflamed and extremely painful. It has been trying. Yesterday was a horrible day. I had to wait around all day for the movers to come and pick up David's belongings. The army messed up and couldn't give him a moving date until AFTER he went home. Whatever. So that took until about 2:30pm. Then as I am unwinding from the stress of having movers traipse dirt through my house and almost wake up my napping son, I hear the most horrifying screaming noises coming from my backyard. I run out to find my dogs locked together. They had been fighting and Sienna had managed to get Milo's spiked collar (put on him to stop her from pulling on it) wrapped around her lower jaw. Thankfully for her, she had only managed to wrap the leather part around herself. But the screams were coming from Milo who she was slowly strangling to death. I was not prepared for that and had nothing to cut them apart. I started screaming for help as I am holding the collar away from his neck, trying to undo it. Thank the Lord that I have amazing neighbors!!! Several of them came running and a few jumped over our fence without hestitation. They held the dogs so I could get something to cut them apart. Thankfully, everyone is okay. Milo is no longer wearing a collar though. And Sienna is going to get some serious obedience training after this. I am still upset by what happened. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love my dogs dearly. The fact that I haven't gotten rid of our problem child Sienna after the hell she has put us through, constantly running away, digging, fighting with Milo, etc., shows how much I love them. I was so scared that Milo was going to die and I couldn't help him. I can't understand why people would have dog fights. They are absolutely horrifying. The only shining lights this week have been James and Matty. My angel son has been super sweet and cuddly. He is learning what I am asking for when I ask him for kisses and hugs and he gives them quite happily. He is such a delight!! I am so blessed to have such an amazingly wonderful baby boy. I love to watch him learn and explore, dance and babble. He gets so excited about everything. He is my sweetheart and I love him so very much. And James has been on days this week. It has been so great to have my husband home with me at night. It is our time to just be together and relax since Matty is in bed. And Saturday is our second anniversary. We are not big on going out to fancy places, but this year we made an exception. It will be the first time that we have ever really celebrated it and I wanted to to be special. I am really looking forward to it. Oh! A quick YEA!!!! Matty has FINALLY quits nursing!!!!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was hard to break, but now we are done. YIPEE!!!! Well, I hope that you enjoy our little video of Matty. I just got a Flip and we are just getting used to it. I figured that it was yet another way everyone could see how Matty has grown.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Loves of my life

My husband and son are the ones for whom I live and breathe. There is nothing better for me than getting to be with them, no matter what we are doing. I adore them so much. James and I are getting ready to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary on August 2nd. Or rather our marriage anniversary. We did not get married in a normal way whatsoever. We did a double proxy wedding since he was still in Iraq and I was in Georgia. What is a double proxy wedding? Well, it is when you fill out all of these forms and pay a certain amount to have two people stand in for you in front of a judge and say that you wish to get married. The only state where this is legal is Montana. Single proxy weddings are much more common. Why did we do it this way? Because we were pregnant. We were already engaged, but Tricare would pay for everything so we decided to move up our wedding. We actually did not find out we were married until I received our marriage license 5 days later. So we have not really ever felt like August 2nd was a very special day for us. But this year I felt determined to change that. I really want us to celebrate our marriage and anniversary for the wonderful thing that it is. So we are going to a nice restaurant and a Cirque de Soleil type show. I am actually looking forward to it. And we have found a wonderful babysitter to boot. One day we will have our actual wedding. We really want to wait until we have all of our children with us. Maybe our 5th or 10th. We'll see. Matty is a tempermental child these days. He is 16 months and getting into that very defiant stage where he is testing his limits. His personality is a lot like mine. I guess my mother's wish came true after all. He is very stubborn and dramatic and moody. But he is also very cuddly and sweet and intelligent. And curious about everything!!! He wants to know what everything is and how it works. It is a good thing though. I take it as a sign of intelligence and I encourage it. We are slowly getting him weaned from nursing. Hopefully in the next week or two he will be done. YAY! It would be nice for me. You know, I have spent my whole life trying to figure out what I want to be. And I have discovered that the best and most rewarding career for me is to be a wife and mother. Yes, I will get my degree and hopefully work one day, but I really don't want to miss my children's lives. I LOVE being able to be there with Matty. I get to see it all. I treasure that more than anything else. I have spent a lot of money on equipment to help me capture and hold on to these moments in my son's life. I would not trade this life for anything in the world. Some days my husband and son may get on my nerves, but there is not a day that goes by where I can imagine my life without them. Everything happens for a reason and I am glad that James and Matty happened to me. I am so very blessed.

Real Heroes

I got this in an email the other day and wanted to share. These are the true heroes in our world. So I just want to take a moment and say THANK YOU to all of those who serve our country. Our military, our police, our firemen, you all put your lives on the line for us and we should do more to thank you all for all that you do.

We truly take a lot for granted. Forget the football "heroes" and movie "stars". Pass this on so that all may know the price of freedom.Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

Crazy summer days

So I know that it has been awhile since I last added an entry. For those of you that actually read this blog, I apologize. It has been a hectic and sad time for us. We have been helping some of our close friends pack up and move away from us. It has been very difficult to say goodbye. Military life can be so hard sometimes. Just when you make a connection with people, you or they have to pack it up and move out. It just sucks. Hopefully we will be able to stay in touch. I am still waiting for school to start, so in the meantime I have been organizing and decorating the house the way I want it. We also have a new dog. He is a Catahoula hound and Whippet mix. We have named him Milo, but originally his name was Kimo, which means James in Hawaiian. Milo is very sweet natured and loves Matty. And Matty just loves him too! They are so cute together! Sienna needed a friend and so I felt that Milo would be a good fit for us. He is and we love him. James would be happy without either dog, but he is outnumbered because Matty and I love them. James is still working the crazy night shift ICU schedule. I wish that they would change him back to days. Things were better then. Matty is still as silly and fun as ever. It seems like every day he learns something new. Like yesterday he learned to blow out like he is blowing out candles. He is so much fun! I feel completely blessed to be able to stay at home with my son. I could not imagine how hard it would be for me to have to leave him every day. I am loving that Matty is still so attached to me and loves to cuddle. Sometimes it can be a bit much, but mostly I realize that it won't always be this way and I just enjoy it while I can. I will try and post some pictures shortly, but tonight I have a bad headache and it is all that I can do to post this. Good night and God bless!