September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month

So now the total of children that I know personally to have lost their lives to cancer is two. It is all just so tragic and awful. I believe that it is important to raise awareness and support for the research to help slow and eventually stop cancer. It is devastating to contract cancer when you are older, but to get sick before you even have a chance to live is heartbreaking. This link http://www.faithfulfroggers.blogspot.com/ will take you to my cousin Heather's website. She has all of the links you need to donate, if you so choose. I would like to take a moment and share about Jacob. Keep in mind that this is from my point of view and I still carry a lot of remorse that I was not there during his final years.

Ever since I can remember I idolized Heather. She was everything that I wanted to be. She was beautiful, popular, kind. Everyone loved her. Then she got married to Donnie and they were the quintessential all-American couple; good-looking, blonde, blue-eyed. And just the best people that you could ever meet. They had Kyle, whom I adore, and a few years later they had the triplets, Brandon, Jacob, and Devin. I was so honored to be able to be their mother's helper for the summer when the triplets were 13 months old. I love those boys like they were my own. It was so much fun to watch them learn and grow during that time. Then I went back home and due to my own follies and paths, have not really seen them much since then. It is hard to live so far away from family that I love so much. When Jacob got sick, my heart broke. I could not be there with him or Heather. My husband can tell you that when the doctors said that Jacob did not have much time left, I locked myself in the bathroom and nearly broke my wrist from beating on the sink so hard. It just seemed so totally unfair. But then he pulled through and we all felt hope again. When Jacob passed away, I was unable to attend the funeral because James was home on R&R and we were in Texas. We did pray and release balloons though. I doubt that I would have been able to handle going to the funeral. I don't do well at funerals. Through all of the pain and grief, I did feel that Jacob was blessed because he got to go home to be with the Lord. In the end, that is what we all want. Losing Jacob has taught me to appreciate my own son so much more. Every hug, kiss, cuddle, giggle, every anything is so very cherished. I still remember my dream of Jacob in heaven kissing a baby boy on the cheek and smiling. It was after that dream that I felt lead to name Matty for Jacob. And Matty has a dimple on the cheek that Jacob kissed in my dream. Sometimes things that Matty does reminds me of Jacob. Especially those beautiful blue eyes. And to me, it feels like there is still a part of Jacob in our lives.

Okay, well that is enough sadness tonight. Please visit Heather's site and donate to this worthy cause. Thank you.